


Jurassic Metalheads!

by braingenius



Category: Hevisaurus, The Aquabats! Super Show!
Genre: Crossover, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-18
Updated: 2020-02-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:55:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22780609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/braingenius/pseuds/braingenius
Summary: The Aquabats run into a group of unlikely kindred spirits from a far-off land on a lonely California highway. Rated "Teen" for implied dinosaur shipping and one singular saucy joke.
Relationships: Komppi Momppi/Riffi Raffi
Kudos: 2





	Jurassic Metalheads!

Somewhere, in the vast California desert, an eerie stillness permeated the sprawling expanse. There was nothing to be seen for miles except rocks and cacti, and a singular massive vehicle pulled off to one side of a nameless highway. Its red lights flashed on and off, fleetingly bathing the ground around it in artificial fire, before returning it to the darkness. Muffled growls could be heard inside as one got close, only suggesting what sort of beasts might be contained within.

Finally the door opened, and five massive reptilian figures emerged, survivors of an alien Earth lost to time. One great, horned beast finally spoke.

“Guys, I keep telling you it’s the  _ battery! _ ”

The horned monster was approached by another, one equipped with a mouth of snaggled, vicious-looking teeth.

“Do not worry, Milli Pilli!” it crowed. “We shall breathe the fire of life back into our tour bus with the power of ROCK AND ROLL!” The carnivorous beast turned to yet another reptilian giant, which was standing next to the gas cap of the vehicle with a length of garden hose. “Blow, Riffi, blow!”

The monster at the gas cap inhaled deeply, then exhaled a torrent of fire through the hose into the gas tank of the vehicle. Not seconds later, the petroleum ignited violently in an eruption of sound and smoke, knocking the massive lizard onto its back. Its face blackened by soot and ears ringing from the explosion, it began to cough violently before making its best effort to gather its bearings.

“Er...I don’t think that  _ quite _ worked...should I give it another go?”

The horned beast shoved its face into the palms of its great clawed hands.

“Himbos…” it muttered.

* * *

_ BLAM!!! _

“What was that?!” Ricky Fitness dropped the lettuce wrap he was holding to the floor and ran into the cockpit of the Battle Tram, followed shortly after by a significantly less panicked Eaglebones Falconhawk.

“Ugh, Crash, did you forget to turn the amp off before unplugging again?” The guitarist called back, rolling his eyes.

“No, I wasn’t even playing bass!!” Crash McLarson snapped back as he followed Eaglebones into the cockpit.

“Wait, look!” Ricky pointed to a tall plume of dense, dark smoke that looked to be a mile or two down the road.

“Jimmy!” The leader of the band of heroes finally rushed into the cockpit and took the seat next to the driver. “What’s going on?!”

“Hmm.” The android in the driver’s seat narrowed his eyes, using his telescopic abilities to identify the silhouette of a smoking vehicle and five agitated former passengers. “It looks like catastrophic automotive failure.”

“On a road like this, who knows when help may next arrive…” The MC Bat Commander’s face set into a steely gaze of intent. “Floor it, Jimmy. Aquabats, let’s go!!”

* * *

“Hallo?  _ HALLO?? _ ” The snaggletoothed beast frantically shouted into what was to him a comically undersized cell phone.

“Ugh, forget it,” the horned lizard sighed. “There’s no reception way out here! We’ll just...have to wait until someone comes by, and...that could take hours, maybe days!”

“Maybe twenty seconds.” The largest monster of the bunch finally spoke up as its sharp eyes spotted a pair of headlights coming down the road. “Uhh, Muffi, you... _ might _ wanna get out of the way, that thing’s comin’ pretty fast.”   
  
“Huh?” The armor-plated reptile turned to face the rest of his group, oblivious to the high-beams rapidly approaching from behind him.

  
“MUFFI, LOOK OUT!!” cried the fanged lizard.

_ SKREEEEEEEEEEECH!! _

* * *

Jimmy slammed on the brakes just in time to avoid hitting the huge green figure suddenly in his path. The lizard stared at him, frozen like a deer in the Battle Tram’s headlights.

“What the  _ whaaaaa?! _ ” exclaimed the MC Bat Commander.

The giant creature finally skittered back to the side of the road, shrouding itself in darkness.

“...was that a  _ dinosaur?! _ ” Eaglebones continued to gawk incredulously at the space where the creature had been.

“...Pfff, nah, probably just a coyote.” The Commander laughed. “Now let’s help get these guys back on the road!” He leapt from his seat and made his way to the Tram’s exit.

The Aquabats assumed formation as they exited their vehicle, but froze up immediately as they registered the five towering, primeval monsters before them. Among them was the creature that Jimmy the Robot had narrowly avoided hitting, a massive beast with huge spear-tip plates running down its back, wearing a leather jacket and boots both adorned with similarly sharp spikes. In fact, all the monsters were clad in similar attire, the only notable difference being that one appeared to be wearing a skirt.

“Wait...they  _ are  _ dinosaurs!” Eaglebones stammered.

“And one dragon,” piped up the soot-faced beast.

“Stay calm, boys,” ordered the Bat Commander. “They can only detect motion.”

The largest lizard in the group couldn’t help but smirk. “Nice moustache,” it quipped, raising an eyebrow at the Bat Commander.

“...you were saying??” Ricky hissed.

“Um…” The Bat Commander started to sweat, wondering what would be the right way to address a group of dinosaurs, but before he could speak another word, the most ferocious-looking of the bunch ran up to him.

“Oh, thank goodness you’re here! We are in  _ desperate _ trouble! Our bus will not start, and so we are stranded, here, lost all alone in this great desert!” The creature’s voice was nothing like what one would have expected from a  _ Tyrannosaurus rex _ . It was chipper and energetic, and the poetic, flowery words it spoke were laced with an accent of possibly Nordic origin.

“Heh, well, we wouldn’t be lost if  _ someone _ wasn’t holding the map upside-down.” The largest beast chimed in again, its voice a relaxed headbanger drawl.

“Hey, I read  _ better _ upside-down!” retorted the stegosaurus, causing the apatosaurus to roll its eyes.

The MC Bat Commander couldn’t help but lower his guard, against whatever better judgment he may have hypothetically had. Whatever their intention was, it didn’t seem to be terribly dangerous. “Well, thankfully we’ve arrived just in time. Whether it’s roadside vehicle repair or saving the world from the Floating Eye of Death, the Aquabats are always here to--”

“ _ Waaaait _ a minute!” Crash interrupted impatiently. “How can we be sure you’re not gonna eat us?!”

The apatosaurus shrugged. “I mean, we did just have a pizza…”

“You mean  _ you _ did!” The singed lizard huffed, letting a plume of smoke loose from its nostrils. “You hardly saved any for the rest of us at all!”

“Eh, so I had a midnight snack last night. Sue me.”

“Komppi, your ‘midnight snacking’ could probably feed the entire population of Helsinki!” The dragon continued in a testy British clip.

“ _ Guys!! _ ” The triceratops spoke for the first time, its feminine voice cutting clear as a bell through the bickering. “Can we  _ please _ just let these guys do their job??”

Jimmy the Robot stepped forward from formation. “Not to worry, everyone, I speak fluent car!” He placed a yellow trucker cap emblazoned with the front of a semi and the words “FEEL MY STEEL” over his headgear and walked up to the t-rex. “So, what seems to be the problem?”

“Well, every time we try to turn on the ignition, the engine makes a noise like ‘rurrurrurrurrurrurururururuRURURURURURURURurrrrr….’” The tyrannosaur growled in a surprisingly faithful imitation of an internal combustion engine.

“‘Rururururr’?” Jimmy pondered. “That sounds like a battery issue!”

“SEE? I  _ told _ you guys! Ugh…” Milli Pilli groaned in frustration.

Jimmy turned back to his teammates. “This calls for Protocol JS-1. Crash, get in the driver’s seat and pull up to the bus, then wait for my signal.” Crash promptly obliged--it wouldn’t be the first time the Aquabats had done this. “Don’t worry,” Jimmy addressed the lizards. “A jump start should get you up and running to the next town, at least.”

Jimmy walked to the front of the Battle Tram and flipped open the hood, before doing the same to the enormous bus next to it. He placed one metallic hand on the positive terminal of the Battle Tram’s battery and the other on the bus’s negative terminal. “Remember, kids, do  _ NOT _ try this at home!  _ HIT IT, CRASH!! _ ”

Crash revved the engine of the Battle Tram, sending hundreds of thousands of volts through his robotic bandmate, causing him to spark and shudder violently, much to the mixture of horror and bemusement from the gang of reptiles. Seconds later, the engine of the bus started with a healthy purr, and Jimmy dropped to his knees.

“Phew…” the android panted. “That oughta do it.”

“...I mean, I  _ did _ have jumper cables,” muttered the triceratops.

“Oh, thank you so much!!” The tyrannosaurus rushed at Jimmy, then scooped him up  _ literally _ off his feet in a grateful hug, which Jimmy was certain would shatter the ribs of his bandmates without cybernetic endoskeletons.

The MC Bat Commander smiled. “No thanks necessary! All in a night’s work for The Aquabats, Mr…?”

“Oh!” The massive rex finally let go of the robot, who suddenly felt the need to perform a quick system diagnostic. “Where are my manners? Hevisaurus. Herra Hevisaurus.” The dinosaur reached out a massive hand, which the Bat Commander shrunk away from.

“Eheh...well, then, happy trails, Herra Hevisaurus!” The Commander grinned awkwardly, not wanting to be impolite, but also not wanting to spend the rest of the tour in an arm splint. “Glad we could help you get to where you’re going!”

“Er, well, that’s another thing…” The dinosaur interrupted, awkwardly scratching his fiery orange hair with his claws. “We...do not know this area well at all.”

“Ahhh, not from around here, huh?” The Bat Commander feigned surprise.

“Yes, we are...quite a long way from Mystic Mountain now.”   
  
“‘Mystic Mountain’?” Ricky muttered. “Isn’t that a tourist trap in Utah?”

The tyrannosaur continued. “We are not used to the desert, and Milli Pilli’s ‘global positioning’  _ vehje _ doesn’t seem to work out here…”

“Well, where are you heading?” asked the Bat Commander. “Maybe we can help.”

“Let’s see…” The dinosaur rubbed his chin. “It is a village called, I think, Arid Springs?”

“Arid Springs??” Crash piped up, stepping out of the Battle Tram. “Hey, we’re doing a show there!”

“A show?” Komppi Momppi’s sleepy eyes suddenly widened. “You’re in a band too?”

“... _ You’re _ in a band  _ too?! _ ” Crash repeated.

“I asked you first.” The huge lizard grinned.

Ricky laughed. “Yeah, you know, we’re just your average ordinary  _ superhuman _ punishers-of-evil rock-and-roll band.”

“No way! Dude, that’s awesome!” Komppi’s interest was fully engaged now, the tip of his massive tail thumping against the ground.

“ _ ROCK AND ROOOOOLLLLLLLL~!! _ ” crowed the t-rex, before punctuating with a hearty “Räyh!”

“Hey, maybe we can lead the way, and you can follow us!” Eaglebones suggested.

“Sounds like a plan to me,” agreed the apatosaurus. “By the way, who’s driving?”

“I’ll drive!” offered Muffi Puffi.

  
“No, you won’t,” the larger lizard immediately responded. “Let’s see, uh...Riffi, you up for driving for a bit?”

The dragon had managed to wipe most of the residue of the explosion off his face. “Well, seeing as that, er,  _ incident _ managed to wake me up a good deal, I suppose I could manage.”

“Excellent,” the apatosaurus grinned, mussing the dragon’s purple mane with one hand and making him blush a bit.

“I cannot thank you enough for this,  _ arvon herra _ .” The tyrannosaurus rex smiled at the Bat Commander. “You truly are the heroes we needed tonight. Heroes like you should be commemorated in song!”

The Bat Commander laughed. “Don’t worry, my friend, we’ve got  _ plenty _ of those. Alright, Aquabats, roll out!”

The Aquabats boarded the Battle Tram as the members of Hevisaurus boarded their own bus. Komppi Momppi was the last to enter, pausing for a moment and eyeing Jimmy the Robot’s “FEEL MY STEEL” trucker cap.

“Hey, uh...where’d you get that hat? I’ve been thinking I might need one for later…”

“KOMPPI~!!” The flustered dragon in the driver’s seat admonished, eliciting an eye roll and a grin from the apatosaurus.

“Heh. See ya in Arid Springs.” The massive reptile smiled and fist-bumped the android, before the two vehicles drove off into the night.


End file.
